Friday, July 15, 2016

Welcome to Our Adoption Story

We hope that those of you who are in the process of adopting will learn something from our adoption experiences and failures. We have shared what happened with our domestic infant adoption process as well as the important lessons we learned along the way. I can't believe how challenging the whole process was. It was an emotional roller coaster ride.
Worse than dating!!
Last year we decided to jump aboard the adoption roller coaster one more time. Since the chances for a "change of heart" are less with international adoption we decided to go that route. The 2 programs that fit us best are the Chinese (special needs) and Ethiopian programs. Event though "change of hearts" are more rare with international adoption, gov't politics can still interfere and end our hopes of having the family we've always dreamed of. But unfortunately that's how adoption works. There are always risks. With hope in our hearts, and fingers crossed we are willing to take the risk one last time.

Anyway, if you have any questions or would like to post comments, please don't hesitate to ask or post. Our blog is automatically set up to show most recent dates first, so if you would prefer to read the story as it happened just start with the "We've Been Chosen" post from the list on your right.

Take care and have a great day!!!!



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It's Official!!

Wednesday we got our official letter of approval from the Chinese gov't.  It's official!!  This little man is ours!!  Today we met with our adoption agency and signed all the necessary paperwork to proceed.  While we are waiting for the rest of the legal/document/gov't stuff to happen, we will start the process of getting our own travel visas.  Then we can go get him!!  In the mean time we need to get some photo albums ready to send over so he can begin to learn who we are.  I'm so afraid of this falling through like the many tries before, but I'm really excited too.Ugh!!!  The back and forth is killing me.  LOL.  This is going to be one heck of an adventure!!

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

We Found a Match!!

Well, it's been a crazy few days.  Last Wednesday we got a call from our agency. We weren't completely sure we had an official "log in" date yet, but we had confirmation that our dossier had reached China safely.  So when they called I was expecting a "hey, you now have your login date" kind of call.  But instead we got the "we've got a great file for you to look at" call.  Holy Cow!!!That was so fast!!

So we've spent the last several days looking at the medical file, pictures, and videos. We've also had 5 different medical professionals take a peek too.  It appears this little guy is very, very small (like nowhere near the growth curve small), and a little bit developmentally delayed but the consensus is that once he's home he will recover those losses.  So we decided to take the plunge.  Last night we made the decision and sent off the rest of the paperwork, so it would be there first thing this morning.

Now we wait.  Once our paperwork is translated, it will be sent off to China.  At that point we will get the file "locked in" and he will be ours.  So, although it's a touch to early to celebrate yet, it looks like it is going to be a boy!!!  As my niece says, "fingers, eyes, and toes crossed that all goes well".

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Surprised by Judgement

You would think by now, at my age, there would be nothing that could surprise me....but holy cow!!     Recently I've been completely caught off guard by the sometimes veiled (sometimes not so veiled) hostility from people when they hear about our pending international adoption.  The thing that is so startling is that some of these people are family members who should remember the torturous, 5 year journey we endured during our failed domestic infant adoption atempt a few years back.

The comments are things like "you should be adopting from the US, our kids need homes too" or "there are more than enough kids here that need homes".  They insinuate that our choosing to go international is some sort of statement about how American kids aren't good enough.  Who would even think that??  That's just nuts!

I understand that these folks are ignorant regarding orphans from around the world, their living conditions, their futures, and what happens when they "age out" of the system, but still the level of judgement really caught me off guard.  The interesting thing is the comments seem to be directed toward me, and not my husband.  Isn't that interesting??  I wonder why??

So for those out there who are judging us, let me explain.  US infant adoption has become very competitive.  Teen mom's and others considering adoption want a younger Daddy Warbucks type of family for their kids including lots of travel, maybe some siblings, and all the expensive material things their child's heart could ever desire.  After 3 change of hearts (a local agency record), we just don't feel we can compete at our age.  Plus I'm not sure I can handle any more of the harsh rejection and drama that comes along with domestic infant adoption.  It was just too painful the first 3 times we tried (and that doesn't even include the 2 times we tried to set something up out of state).  Plus, we know that kids here get support until they are 18 followed by access to both private and gov't programs to help them get on their feet.  On the other hand, kids in other countries can "age out" of the system in their early teens with no support thereafter.  They are left to fend for themselves the best way they can.  Someday we will hopefully adopt an older kid from the US.  It was always part of our plan anyway, but we also want to experience what it's like to raise a young child, to see their 1st steps, hear their first words, and play peek-a-boo.  Is that so wrong??

You know what truly amazes me about this whole thing?  Those who judge us are always women who were lucky enough to give birth to, and raise, their own children.  Isn't it interesting that they don't have the ability to understand why we would want to experience the same things they take for granted every day?
People sure are goofy sometimes.

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Dossier on the Way!!

We just received word from our social workers that our dossier has been fully authenticated and is in the mail today.  According to the tracking number it should arrive in China on Monday.  I'm not sure how long it will take for us to get our "log in" date, but this means we are getting closer.  We should have a "log in" date soon.  YAY!!